1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
  funding.

  2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders
  how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

  3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are
  more of a threat, than US nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of
  Chinese communists.

  4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

  5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
  cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by
  yuppies driving SUVs.

  6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
  homosexual is natural.

  7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
  demand.

  8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
  create prosperity.

  9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
  activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

  10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
  doing something to earn it.

  11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

  12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts
  of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain
  parts of the Constitution.

  13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

  14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more
  important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
  or Thomas Edison.

  15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
  quotas and set-asides aren't.

  16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

  17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
  anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
  charge.

  18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,but
  a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

  19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
  transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
  manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

  20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the
  Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.